School is here and NO tears for this mommy!

I didn't cry!  I remember the first day I dropped Emma off for her first day of preschool, I got in the car and blubbered my whole way home.  I even called my mom and asked if this was normal.  She hadn't shed a tear or begged me to stay when I dropped her off and left, I on the other hand "cried me a river".

Today was Lincoln's first day of preschool, and I didn't cry.  I was quite sad last week when I found out my daughters school got postponed from starting for another week, but I think it was truly a blessing in disguise.  You see she went with me to drop Lincoln off.   He is my last baby, his life has already been such a journey, I didn't quite know how I would feel.  But the good news is, I didn't cry. 

He was so excited for school, he has been dreaming of the day when he would get to go to school like other kids.  He especially wanted to go to school just like his Big Sister Emma.  I think he thinks school is all about playing outside, but we have had to remind him several times that we go to school to LEARN and to play outside. 

2 years ago we weren't sure what the future held for our family.  Our son, Lincoln, had been diagnosed with cancer and was in the start of some intense treatments.  What a journey the last two years have been.  But today was a new day!  Lincoln had his first day of preschool and loved every minute of it.

The first year of treatment we kept Lincoln so isolated due to his counts being all over the place, we knew there was such a high risk if he got sick.  Now in treatment his counts are more at a stable number that we have felt more at ease going and doing things.  So school was definitely on our list of things to try.

We are so thankful for our son.  We are thankful for God's healing hand.  We are so thankful for Dr's, nurses, medicine, research which have helped get us to where we are.  God is sooooo GOOD!

Please continue to pray for Lincoln as he still has another year and 2 months of treatment left.  We know that this year is a new year for him, full of so much life and excitement, but we also know that with school and being around so many other kids can come sickness.  We continue to pray for God's might hand of protection over him.

Ok I have to be honest.........I did cry a few happy tears on my way home.  Happy to be kid free for a few hours a couple time a week (I know all you moms can understand), but most importantly so thankful for God's many blessings.  Lincoln being here, Lincoln doing well on treatment, Lincoln being able to go to school are all such huge blessings.  And we can't forget each and everyone of you who have loved us, prayed for us, and supported us on this journey.  Thank You!

Let's Be Real!

It can be so hard for us to be real.  To let people in and know the good and the bad.  It becomes too much of a habit for us to just "put on the smile" and pretend life is good.  But wait, isn't life good?  You are probably thinking...."NO, life isn't good."  I'm sure there were many thoughts that came into your mind when I said that life isn't good.  Maybe your marriage is on the rocks, maybe you have been on unemployment for a year, maybe you need a financial miracle, maybe someone dear to you has passed, maybe you or someone you love is dealing with an illness, maybe you don't know who you are, maybe there is a void in your life, maybe you are in need of a friend, maybe your child is going through difficult times, maybe you are consumed with fear, maybe you are unhappy, maybe you lost your direction....and I know the list goes on.

We all handle stress and circumstances differently.  I know in the last 2 years I have learned that life has it's bumps.  We might think that some ones situation is more challenging, but the fact of the matter is that a challenge is a challenge no matter who you are, and that it's going to take a lot for that person to get through their challenges.

For me, the challenges of my son going through cancer treatment, losing my dad so unexpectedly 9 months ago have been quite the challenge.  But that brings me to something that I want to share with you.  During these last 2 years, I have had to make a daily choice to see the positive, to find the blessings.  It can be so easy for us to get caught up in the negativity that we face on a daily basis.  I mean look around....there are so many things that could put us into a spiral down fall of depression, but we have to choose not to go there.  We have to chose to say "tough times will come, but God is so much bigger then any giant we may face".

I know you have all heard that old saying..."you are what you eat".  Well, if we surround our self with negativity, if we listen to negativity, we will put out negativity, and believe me there is enough of it out there, I don't want to add to it.  Does this mean that I am not being truthful of my emotions and feelings, does it mean my smile is fake, does it mean my words of thankfulness are a lie.  NO!!!!  I choose to live in the LIGHT.  I choose to not allow satan any foot hold in my life.  I choose to cling to the promises of God. 

If I could take my son's cancer away, I would.  If I could bring my Dad back, I would...but the fact of the matter is, life happens.  We live in a world of good and evil.  We live in a time where satan is on a mission to steal, kill and destroy.  We live in a world that is falling farther and farther away from it's creator.  Are there days when I wish cancer never entered our lives, yes.  Do I miss my Dad more then anything, yes.  But the fact of the matter is that these things have happened.  I may not know why, I may not fully understand, I may not agree, but I do know that His plan is always perfect.  I can choose to dwell on all the negative and have one big pity party, or I can choose to live in His hope, His peace, His guidance, His wisdom,  His direction, and be His light.

We were all called for one purpose...that is to have a personal relationship with our Maker.  While we are here in our temporary homes we are to be His love, His light in everything we are and do.  Are we real human beings, yes.  Do we struggle with our feelings and emotions, yes.  But we have a God who is right there with us every step of the way.  He is there to wipe our tears, He is there to wrap us in His arms to comfort us, to bring peace to our confusion, to bring hope to our devastation, to bring light to our darkness.  He is there in the good and the bad!

"But in all these things we have full victory through God who showed his love for us."
 Romans 8:37

"Praise the Lord, God our Savior, who helps us everyday."
Psalm 68:19

Heaven Rejoices!

Today's devotional was a perfect read.  There are so many wonderful things I remember about my Dad.  The one thing that I love most is that he LOVED people.  He knew God in a personal way.  It was more then a religion, thing, etc...it was a TRUE relationship with his Maker, a daily walk.  Was he perfect, no, but then again who is.  His heart pumped love, his heart pumped God and all that God is.  Out of all the times he would minister and reach out I can't think of a time that he didn't invite others to know the God that he knew.

"There is joy in the presence of the angels of God when one sinner changes his heart and life."
 Luke 15:10

Max Lucado stated it well..."Heaven is populated by those who let God change them.  Arguments will cease, for jealousy won't exist.  Suspicions won't surface, for there will be no secrets.  Every sin is gone.  Every insecurity is forgotten.  Every fear is past.  Pure wheat.  No weeds.  Pure gold.  No alloy.  Pure love.  No lust.  Pure hope.  No fear.  No wonder the angels rejoice when one sinner repents; they know another work of art will soon grace the gallery of God.  They know what heaven holds."

I know that Heaven rejoiced and welcomed my father with open arms the day he went home to be with the Lord.  He was a true servant of God.  He was a vessel who was ready and willing at all times to do the work of the Lord in everything he did and said. 

God blessed him with so many talents and abilities to reach people.  He believed in giving people the chance in becoming who God created them to be.  They might fail, but he was always there to encourage them to get back up and try again.  Some people are so quick to write off someone who has done wrong, but not him.  He was always willing to give a person a second chance, maybe even a third or fourth.  He never gave up on people.

God hasn't given up on us.  His love is never ending.  No matter what you face, no matter where you are on life's journey, no matter what choices you have made, God still loves you.  His arms are open wide ready and eagerly awaiting you.  Are you willing to be changed forever by the one who loves you more then anything?

Hello? Anyone There?

Have you ever been called to do something that you just didn't know the how's or whys?  Why is it that we can't simple say "yes".  We have to fully think it through; figure out all the "what ifs", and try to plan it out step by step.  That is just our human tendencies.  Question is, was all that in the calling?  When God calls us, isn't He looking for a willing and ready vessel.  Someone to say "Yes Lord, use me".  What happens though is He calls, we answer and then we forget that He is the one who called.  He called because He knows He can use us and our abilities.  He didn't call thinking "gosh, what can they do, what can they offer to this, why even bother".  No, He called because He know we can and He wants to use us. 

I felt God calling me to start this blog awhile ago...to be honest, I kept putting it off.  One excuse after another, but then I realized, it didn't matter what I thought and how it would all come about, what mattered is that He asked.  Was I going to be His faithful servant and listen to what He was calling me to do, or was I going to hold it up by thinking how incompetent I was at this, etc.  We have a way of making excuses...Oh not me, not the right timing, I can't do this, how will it come together.  When we forget that it isn't through us anyway that it all happens, it's through Him.  I don't know what His reasoning's were for me to blog, maybe it was to see if I would listen, if I would step out in faith, maybe it was to challenge me and capture lessons He is teaching me, maybe it is to be used to be a light directing others to Him.  Only God truly knows the whys.

I can say that I am so glad that I have listened.  I wouldn't want to pass up on an opportunity in which He has assigned to me...I wouldn't want to find out that because I wasn't willing, that He had to move on to someone else to accomplish what He is at work doing. 

What has God called you to do?  Are you finding an excuse to not step out in FAITH or are you listening and allowing God to move and work in you.  Be the light and example in everything that you do.  He is simply looking for those ready and willing.

Has the Fog Settled In?

PERSPECTIVE!

When life comes crashing down on you like a wave, when words have stung, when actions leave you wanting revenge, do you blame God or do you lean on Him?  Do you doubt everything you believe and have said is real.

It's one thing to say He is.....

Almighty,
           Loving,
                   Caring,
                            Provider,
                                    Refuge,
                                           Strong Tower,
                                     Strength,
                            Wisdom,
                  Faithful,
          Good,
Friend

when things are going great, but as soon as you face a storm, do your views change?

It's easy to throw the blame, to accuse, to try to find reason when life doesn't make sense.  But why should we question our feelings and thought of Him just because things aren't ok.  God never promised that life would be easy, smooth sailing, lucky-go-happy every day.  What He did promise is that He would be with us through every up and down.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever!  That if we lean on Him, trust in Him, He will see us through. 

Does that mean He answers every pray like we want, does that mean He gets us what we think we need right then, does that mean it all works out how we plan...NO!  We see here and now; He sees the past, present and future.  His plan is perfect, it takes into perspective the whole view from beginning to end.

We must take a moment and truly think about what it means to live by FAITH.  I challenge you the next time life smacks you down, spoken words have stung, or the actions have left you wanting revenge, lean on Him.  Cling to Him, to His promises, to His goodness, to His faithfulness.  Try to live out truly walking by FAITH and not sight.  Don't let difficulty sway your thoughts.

"So fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 6:6

Yesterday, Today and Forever!

This blog is for you, YES YOU!

I don't know what your past consist of.  Could be full of heartache, mistakes, abuse, addictions, sickness, disorders, loss, miscarriages, divorce, depression, abandonment, failure, etc.

I don't know what obstacles you are facing right now.  What mountain you are on that seems like climbing it, isn't even an option.  In fact, right now you aren't sure if you are even going to make it another step.  Whatever you are facing seems so unbearable, so unobtainable, that you doubt if there is even light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't even know what your future holds. (I know it's hard to imagine I can't predict your future)
 
BUT.......................................................................................................................

I do know that He is the same Yesterday, Today and Forever

We can look back over our life and see all the ups and downs; we can see that He got us through, and we praise Him for it.  Yet right now we face a whole new set of curve balls in life and we worry, stress and wonder how it will be ok.

Let me fill you in on a little secret.  Are you ready?  Wait, you better get a pen and paper and write this down.

"He (Jesus) is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY AND FOREVER!"

Whatever the mountain might be, remember it isn't too tall, too wide, too unbearable for Him to see us over it.

Don't wait until you've made it to the valley to give Him praise and lift up your thanksgiving.  Thank Him NOW, in the midst of your storm.  Know and believe that He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  His love, hope and promises haven't changed.  He will see you through.  Trust Him, Believe in Him, and remember to give THANKS in everything!

Don't loose sight, keep the FAITH!

Someone very dear sent this to me, and it is so true...I just had to share some wise words of wisdom from Charles R. Swindoll.

"We're very fickle in our faith, aren't we? We are inconsistent, ambivalent.

We sing "My faith looks up to Thee". . . until the medicine stops working, until the lights go out, until the bill comes due and we don't have what it takes to pay it. Until our grades slip or our career takes a turn or we lose a mate. . . .

How do we learn consistent faith?

We learn it one day at a time. We learn it through endurance.

James writes: "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance" (James 1:2-3).

 

He's not talking about a will-o-the-wisp faith that starts out on the 100-meter sprint and, quicker than you can think, is over. Anybody can handle that kind of faith. Anybody can take ten, fifteen, or twenty minutes of a test.

But ten days or fifteen days, or a year, or two or three? Well, that's another matter. That's the enduring faith James is talking about."

 

 

Some of us have, are, and will be in a race that we think is just never ending...that the light at the end of the tunnel is no where in sight. That we just can't imagine how we can keep going on any longer.  But let me tell you from experience that He is so faithful, so faithful. 

 

That in the moments when we feel like giving up, the times when we feel so lonely, so unsure of what is to come, when the finish seems so far from grasp, that those are the times when we are scooped up into His arms and carried.  It is a time of rest for us.

 

He knows that this road is hard, that there are times we want to throw in the towel and be done, when enough is enough, but when we are at the end of our rope we are only at the beginning of his never ending support.

 

I can't even begin to tell you how much my relationship with Him has changed over the last year.  I am sitting here crying as I type, not because I am sad, but because I truly can't put into words how awesome He is.  What a difference He truly makes. 

 

My race of endurance started over a year ago and my finish line is still far off in the distance, but I am where I am today because of Him.  Because of His love, faithfulness and mercy.  He has truly become my everything....I am nothing without Him.  I don't have the cure for my son, I don't have the money to pay for treatment, I can't make people understand our new life and the decisions we make to keep him safe, but I can say that I know someone who can and who has.  He has the cure, he provides our income, He speaks to so many who have reached out and helped us, He sits and chats with me when I feel so lonely and sad.  I look back over this last year in true amazement.  He has taken care of every little detail, there hasn't been a time when He has let me down.  My God shall supply all my needs.

 

I write all this to say, we all have our races that build endurance in our lives...no ones is bigger then another, the fact of the matter, they are races that we are not capable of doing alone.  I challenge you, if you are in a race now or will be, to look to Him. 

 

He isn't a mean God, He isn't out to punish or cause pain.  He is our life line to get through the challenges that are put before us on this earth.  Let Him carry your burden, let Him show you His love and goodness.  Trust as if your life depends on it, because believe me it does.  He wont let you down! 

 

You have to remember though He sees the big picture when we only see a fraction of it.  His timing and ways are always best.  So keep an alert eye out for how He is going to get you through the race that will forever change your life.  All He asks it that we trust in Him, that we take one day at a time, and that we look with anticipation for the good that He brings.