Has the Fog Settled In?

PERSPECTIVE!

When life comes crashing down on you like a wave, when words have stung, when actions leave you wanting revenge, do you blame God or do you lean on Him?  Do you doubt everything you believe and have said is real.

It's one thing to say He is.....

Almighty,
           Loving,
                   Caring,
                            Provider,
                                    Refuge,
                                           Strong Tower,
                                     Strength,
                            Wisdom,
                  Faithful,
          Good,
Friend

when things are going great, but as soon as you face a storm, do your views change?

It's easy to throw the blame, to accuse, to try to find reason when life doesn't make sense.  But why should we question our feelings and thought of Him just because things aren't ok.  God never promised that life would be easy, smooth sailing, lucky-go-happy every day.  What He did promise is that He would be with us through every up and down.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever!  That if we lean on Him, trust in Him, He will see us through. 

Does that mean He answers every pray like we want, does that mean He gets us what we think we need right then, does that mean it all works out how we plan...NO!  We see here and now; He sees the past, present and future.  His plan is perfect, it takes into perspective the whole view from beginning to end.

We must take a moment and truly think about what it means to live by FAITH.  I challenge you the next time life smacks you down, spoken words have stung, or the actions have left you wanting revenge, lean on Him.  Cling to Him, to His promises, to His goodness, to His faithfulness.  Try to live out truly walking by FAITH and not sight.  Don't let difficulty sway your thoughts.

"So fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 6:6

Yesterday, Today and Forever!

This blog is for you, YES YOU!

I don't know what your past consist of.  Could be full of heartache, mistakes, abuse, addictions, sickness, disorders, loss, miscarriages, divorce, depression, abandonment, failure, etc.

I don't know what obstacles you are facing right now.  What mountain you are on that seems like climbing it, isn't even an option.  In fact, right now you aren't sure if you are even going to make it another step.  Whatever you are facing seems so unbearable, so unobtainable, that you doubt if there is even light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't even know what your future holds. (I know it's hard to imagine I can't predict your future)
 
BUT.......................................................................................................................

I do know that He is the same Yesterday, Today and Forever

We can look back over our life and see all the ups and downs; we can see that He got us through, and we praise Him for it.  Yet right now we face a whole new set of curve balls in life and we worry, stress and wonder how it will be ok.

Let me fill you in on a little secret.  Are you ready?  Wait, you better get a pen and paper and write this down.

"He (Jesus) is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY AND FOREVER!"

Whatever the mountain might be, remember it isn't too tall, too wide, too unbearable for Him to see us over it.

Don't wait until you've made it to the valley to give Him praise and lift up your thanksgiving.  Thank Him NOW, in the midst of your storm.  Know and believe that He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  His love, hope and promises haven't changed.  He will see you through.  Trust Him, Believe in Him, and remember to give THANKS in everything!

Don't loose sight, keep the FAITH!

Someone very dear sent this to me, and it is so true...I just had to share some wise words of wisdom from Charles R. Swindoll.

"We're very fickle in our faith, aren't we? We are inconsistent, ambivalent.

We sing "My faith looks up to Thee". . . until the medicine stops working, until the lights go out, until the bill comes due and we don't have what it takes to pay it. Until our grades slip or our career takes a turn or we lose a mate. . . .

How do we learn consistent faith?

We learn it one day at a time. We learn it through endurance.

James writes: "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance" (James 1:2-3).

 

He's not talking about a will-o-the-wisp faith that starts out on the 100-meter sprint and, quicker than you can think, is over. Anybody can handle that kind of faith. Anybody can take ten, fifteen, or twenty minutes of a test.

But ten days or fifteen days, or a year, or two or three? Well, that's another matter. That's the enduring faith James is talking about."

 

 

Some of us have, are, and will be in a race that we think is just never ending...that the light at the end of the tunnel is no where in sight. That we just can't imagine how we can keep going on any longer.  But let me tell you from experience that He is so faithful, so faithful. 

 

That in the moments when we feel like giving up, the times when we feel so lonely, so unsure of what is to come, when the finish seems so far from grasp, that those are the times when we are scooped up into His arms and carried.  It is a time of rest for us.

 

He knows that this road is hard, that there are times we want to throw in the towel and be done, when enough is enough, but when we are at the end of our rope we are only at the beginning of his never ending support.

 

I can't even begin to tell you how much my relationship with Him has changed over the last year.  I am sitting here crying as I type, not because I am sad, but because I truly can't put into words how awesome He is.  What a difference He truly makes. 

 

My race of endurance started over a year ago and my finish line is still far off in the distance, but I am where I am today because of Him.  Because of His love, faithfulness and mercy.  He has truly become my everything....I am nothing without Him.  I don't have the cure for my son, I don't have the money to pay for treatment, I can't make people understand our new life and the decisions we make to keep him safe, but I can say that I know someone who can and who has.  He has the cure, he provides our income, He speaks to so many who have reached out and helped us, He sits and chats with me when I feel so lonely and sad.  I look back over this last year in true amazement.  He has taken care of every little detail, there hasn't been a time when He has let me down.  My God shall supply all my needs.

 

I write all this to say, we all have our races that build endurance in our lives...no ones is bigger then another, the fact of the matter, they are races that we are not capable of doing alone.  I challenge you, if you are in a race now or will be, to look to Him. 

 

He isn't a mean God, He isn't out to punish or cause pain.  He is our life line to get through the challenges that are put before us on this earth.  Let Him carry your burden, let Him show you His love and goodness.  Trust as if your life depends on it, because believe me it does.  He wont let you down! 

 

You have to remember though He sees the big picture when we only see a fraction of it.  His timing and ways are always best.  So keep an alert eye out for how He is going to get you through the race that will forever change your life.  All He asks it that we trust in Him, that we take one day at a time, and that we look with anticipation for the good that He brings. 

Ribbit, Ribbit, Ribbit!!!

My daughter loves frogs. Me on the other hand would do just fine knowing only that they exist around us somewhere. She likes to catch them, play with them, collect stuffed animals of them, she has even painted two ceramic ones, and lets not forget them being on clothing items.

As much as I am oh so not fond of them, I am glad that she likes them. Secretly they hold a hidden meaning. What other meaning could frog possible hold you are asking yourself? Well lets just take a look. FROG!

First, Rely, On, God = FROG!

What a great reminder to us all. We try to handle, think things through, figure things out, plan on our own, when really what we should do is First Rely On God. He should be the person we turn to, He should be the one we start our day off with, He is the one we should be running things by, He's the one we should be asking for direction from, He's the one who we should call upon for wisdom and strength, He's the one we should ask to walk with us every step of the way.

So let FROG be your daily reminder to put Him first!  "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

"For the battle is not yours, but God's"

July 1, 2011 was a day that changed our lives forever.  It's hard to believe it's already been a year.  I haven't decided yet if it has been the longest year or the fastest year of my life.  For those who many not know our story let me take a moment to fill you in.

Lincoln had been a little pale, had some spots and had two episodes of having a head ache and then throwing up.  We took him in and the Dr immediately sent us to have blood work done.  Of course a little later we received "the call" stating that there was something seriously wrong, and that we need to go to Doernbecher's ASAP.  I remember asking the Dr what he thought might be wrong and his response was, looks like it could be "cancer".  From there everything seemed to be a whirlwind. 

We immediately got the car packed and headed to Doernbecher's.  The packing wasn't too difficult beause we were suppose to go away for the 4th of July weekend.  I don't really remember the car ride up.  I do remember wondering what all this meant.  I mean for goodness sakes the Dr said "cancer", what did this mean, was my son dying, what were his chances, what was this journey going to look like.

Long night awaited us.  We spent about 5 hours in the ER at Doernbecher's while they figured out for sure that he had "cancer" and did more testing to find out what kind.  About 10:30 that night they transferred us over to the hematology/oncology floor where we would begin our week long stay.  At about midnight the Dr on call came in to inform us that Lincoln did have "cancer", Leukemia ALL.  All I remember was that I was tired and my mind was on complete overload that I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, as I lay next to my son and husband, wondering what our future held.

Despite those first emotions of shock and confusion, I can say that we had such peace and assurance that everything was going to be ok.  Didn't know exactly what was to come and all that in entailed but knew that God was in control and is still in control.  Don't get me wrong, we still had and have moments when tears come, or the burden seems unbearable, but are always reassured that God is with us and that He's caringing us every step of the way.

The next morning in the hospital was such a hard day as a parent.  Here my son had just been diagnosed with cancer, he was so confused as to why he was there in this new enviornment, he didn't understand why the nurses were constantly checking on him, why he had tubes connected to him, and why he was feeling the way he felt.  All he really wanted to do, was go back home.  The Dr's immediately sprung into action the next day.  He had his pic line placed securely in his arm, had his LP, Spinal Tap and of course started a bunch of meds.  Worst feeling as a parent, is to be holding your child and have them pry your child out of your arms crying and screaming because they have to take them into surgery.

That week was a week like no other.  Thank goodness for wonderful volunteers and an awesome playroom.  Lincoln lived in the playroom that week up there.  It was a nice distraction why mommy and daddy learned more about what our life would look like for the next several years.

We have come upon the year mark of when he was diagnosed.  We are just wrapping up our first year of intense treatment, getting ready to start our maintenance section which will be for the next 2 1/2 years.

It's incredible to look back over this last year and see all that was overcome.  The weekly, somtimes 2 to 3 times a week) appointments, the daily medications, the accessing of his port each visit, the fasting, the steroids, the constant wondering if this is because he doesn't feel good, is it his meds, or just because he is 3.  The effects it has had on my marriage, on my daughters life, my relationship with others, the things we have chosen to sacrifice for my sons health, the days in tears, the days of loneliness, the heavy burden, but I can hoenstly say there probably isn't much we would change.  We do what we have to do to fight for the health of our loved ones.

God is a good God, a loving God and so faithful.  I definitely didn't see this as something I could go through but He did, and I am so thankful that He has been right by my side every step of the way.  I couldn't have done this last year without Him.  You never think these things will happen to you.  We can be so quick to judge those around us going through difficult times, but you truly have no idea until you are placed in those shoes.

I want to remind all of you that God never promised that our lives would be easy.  He never said they would be a piece of cake, a walk in the park, but He did promise that He would be with us everystep of the way.  He knows everything about us and about our lives from start to finish.  Out of every situation, good or bad, there is a nugget of wisdom to glean.  Remember that He is with us always, draw from Him, let Him be your everything.

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers, as our journey is not yet over.  We still have 2 1/2 more years of treatment.  We thank you all for all your love, support, and prayers.  They mean so much to us and have definitely helped us through this new journey in which we are on. 

"Singing in the Rain..."

"When it Rains; it Pours!"

"When it Rains; it Pours!"  I know we have all heard it and probably said it more times then we care to remember.  Life happens!  So my question to you is, how do you respond to the down pour of rain in your life?

I live in Oregon, therefore, it rains more times then the sun decides to grace us with it's presence.  In fact right now I am beginning to wonder if we will have a summer with sun.  Although it is absolutely beautiful out today, so maybe there is wishful hoping.

As I said earlier, life happens.  Things come up that weren't expected or wanted; some can be exciting and wonderful and others sad and discouraging.  Most of the time when sad and discouraging things come up, that is where our phrase comes in "when it rains; it pours".

Some days that's how my life feels especially through this last year.  I have chosen to see the down pour of rain a little differently then most.  Don't get me wrong, there are still some days when I curl up and wonder if the end of this trial is in sight, or days when I just let the tears flow, but most days I choose to "sing in the rain"

I imagine you are singing the song right now from a great classic movie.  Sorry, now it will probably be in your head all day, you can thank me later. 

So I must say, no, I don't break out into song every time the down pour of rain comes in life.  Although it might make it more interesting.  Instead of seeing life trials as a down pour of sadness and discouragement, I see it as an opportunity to go puddle jumping and sing in the rain. 

We have all done it.  Mostly when we were younger, but some of us recently.  Everyone at some point in time has found that huge puddle and just jumped away, and has come out dirty and wet. Of course you know we enjoyed every minute of it.  Some of us now watch our children do it.  Although most of the time we are saying, NO.  We don't want to deal with the mess and wetness of it all.  It's our first instinct as kids, to see that water resting so peacefully.  Thinking it may need to wake up and come to life.  Before we know it we are jumping away, enjoying every minute, not thinking that when it comes to an end we will be wet and dirty.  Instead we see an opportunity in front of us to relax a little and try to find some happiness in a gloomy day.

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.  We may not want, need, or enjoy the rain that is falling, but the fact of the matter, it is.  So we can either grumble and complain the whole time and sit inside and watch it down pour, or we can go with the flow and enjoy some puddle jumping and singing.

There are times through this trial in which it seems so overwhelming, frustrating, discouraging, etc.  The down pour of rain almost seems to have no mercy, but it was/is in those moments when I had/have to make the decision...am I going to be put out by this down pour of rain or am I going to embrace it and make the most of it.  Sometimes all you can do is laugh; sometimes you just have to let loose.

The rain, the puddles, the grey sky might try to bring you down, but there is so much you can grab a hold of in each of those that there is something to be learned from them.  Each moment is a teachable moment.  Are ready to learn something new?

So when life happens, and you find yourself saying "when it rains; it pours", remember that no matter how down the situation is you can choose to sing in the rain.  You have been given an opportunity.  It's up to you whether it will be a good opportunity or not.

"...when their sorrow was turned into joy and their mourning into a day of celebration."  Esther 9:22

Is the unmistakeable "F" word (FORGIVENESS) knocking at your hearts door?

Forgiveness: to give up resentment against or the desire to punish, pardon
(an offense or offender).

Forgiveness seems to be a topic that I think all of us have, are or will deal with at some point in time in our lives.  It's an action that was done for each and everyone of us, yet for some reason the thing that saved us and freed us, is something that we ourselves are so resistant on giving to others.

"Our Lord bids us to forgive others, even as he asked his Father to forgive his executioners.  Sometimes that seems the most difficult thing in the world, but it's necessary if we're going to find true peace.  Anger and hatred hurt us, not the person we direct them at."  This is so true! 


When we have been hurt, and don't truly forgive, the end result is really only hurting and eating at us.  When we honestly and humbly come before our Father and lay that hurt and pain at his feet, it is no longer ours to carry.  Does that mean it just goes away, never to be heard of or seen again, NO.  What it means is that after you lay the burden down at His feet, the moment it comes back to your mind and begins to burden you again, you immediately place it back in His hands.  The problem is, we can be so quick to pick it back up, to continue to hold on to, something that wasn't meant for us.  Which then brings us back to the simple fact that if we would have forgiven and turned it over to God we wouldn't still be stumbling over all this hurt and resentment now.

There are times when we feel hurt by something someone has said or done, and whether or not they see it for what it is, what we can do and what we should do is offer forgiveness.  Instead I feel like too many of us hold on to it, maybe even stubborn you could say, not backing down, thinking they need to pay for what they have done, why doesn't anyone else see it......come on I know you have thought one of those at some point in time, we are human you know.


In fact, as some of you read this, a person is coming to mind that you have been hurt by.  Forgive, that's what you say I should do?  They haven't even apologized for hurting me, they haven't even made an attempt at making things better, and you want me to forgive them?  People need to know what they have done, people need to see them for who they are.  How come I'm the only one suffering from this, why do they seem to be able to continue on living a normal happy life?   They need to pay!

For ALL have sinned...He hates the sin but loves the sinner!  We are all guilty of sin.  At some point in time we have hurt someone, made a poor choice, etc.  No sin is greater then  another.  Sin is Sin.  Our Heavenly Father sent His son to come and die for our sins so that we might have life and have it more abundantly.  It's for all who receive Him.  It's for the old, young, not even born, the wife, husband, teacher, abuser, singer, murderer, movie star, molester, grocery store clerk, Dr, government officials, prisoner, the list goes.  We have all sinned, we have all fallen short.  Who are we to say that we are better then another or that their sin is greater then ours.  We are all His children, we are all offered the same love and forgiveness.  "Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good." Romans 12:21

Don't try to judge or place punishment upon those you think deserve it.  "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." Matthew 7:1  Let our Father who is in Heaven who knows everything, every hurt, pain, tear and scar, let Him carry that burden.  Love as He so loved us.  "But I say to you, love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you." Matthew 5:44

"Do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do not insult to repay an insult.  But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were called to do this so that you might receive a blessing.  The scripture says, 'A person must do these things to enjoy life and have many happy days.  He must not say evil things, and he must not tell lies'."  1 Peter 3:9-10


Lord, I pray for all those who have been hurt or who have hurt someone.  Lord I pray for your forgiveness upon their heart and life.  I pray that they would give that pain over to you that so deeply consumes them. I pray that as the person who they feel they have been hurt by appears in their lives that you would give them a heart like yours.  That they would see that person as you see them.  For we are all sinners, we all fall short, but it was by your blood that we have been set free.  That are sins have been once scarlet, now they become white as snow as your forgiveness and love wash over them.  Let us pray for those who have hurt us.  Give us the strength and the peace that we will need to hand it completely over to you and to not pick up the burden another moment.  Amen!